Over the New Year, my family and I went to visit a good friend of mine from college. She and her family live on a Cattle Ranch. Neither my husband or I know what it’s like living on or working a ranch. Plus we have been wanting to visit them for a few years now. So we took the opportunity to go visit while we had the time available. We had a great time. My boys got to see Angus cows up close, ride the truck through the pasture lands, see how the cows are feed in the winter, go sledding, and ride a pony. While my husband and I got to experience ranch season at it’s slowest time of the year and learn more about ranching. We were having so much fun and everything was going well until….
My eldest son (he’s five), came inside from playing in the snow around 5 pm on New Years Day evening while we were at my friend’s parents’ house and tells me, “Mommy, I feel like my air is stuck.” He was breathing rapidly and you could tell he was working hard to breathe. Earlier in the morning my friend noticed that he seemed wheezy in that morning. I just thought he had mucus in his throat that was draining from his nose because he had a little bit of a drainage in his nose. Also, he didn’t complain about his breathing at that point when I asked him. Anyway, now he was complaining. My friend, her mom, and I are all educated as nurses (thankfully), so we had a stethoscope on hand, as well as, a finger pulse oximeter.
His lower lungs were silent, while wheezing could be heard in his upper lungs. My son has a history of severe peanut allergy so I had Benadryl and his Epi pen with me. I did give him Benadryl just in case his breathing was allergy related but I wasn’t sure. It seemed like an asthma attack but he has never had an asthma problem before and he is almost past the typical age asthma presents itself. I had him eat a little and we left for my friends house where we were staying. Outside of his rapid breathing he seemed normal, running around the house and he wasn’t anxious at all. I was torn on what to do. Do I give him more time to see if it will resolve or do we head to the ER, which was about 1 hour away?
We decided to see if we could just let him sleep to see if his symptoms would resolve. While it did help to lower his heart rate, his breathing did not improve, and I noticed his oxygen level was dropping occasionally into the high 80’s, he was restless lying in bed moving frequently and coughing occasionally. Plus his breathing just did not sound right. I just laid there listening and just did not feel right about waiting until the morning. I woke my husband up and told him we needed to go to the ER. Once at the ER he was given an albuterol treatment, which cleared his lungs up right away but only for a couple hours. Next he got an inhalable form of epinephrine which seemed to clear his lungs and was given Benadryl. My husband and son were in the ER for 6 hours receiving care and being monitored. They sent Benadryl, and a rescue albuterol inhaler with an aerasol chamber home with us. He did have a viral panel, which included COVID. Everything was negative. We drove over 6 hours home and was told if he started wheezing again he needed to go to the nearest ER for a chest X-Ray and more monitoring.
Thoughts like, “He could die from this if we don’t get treatment in time. His little body is working too hard for far too long now,” plagued my mind. I remember turning to my husband and burst into tears crying, “why can’t our child get sick with something that couldn’t turn immediately deadly?” It seems like about once a year we get an allergy scare, but this is the first time with anything respiratory. And just the unknown of whether this was really allergy related or not? I mean was our little guy having an anaphylactic reaction to a new allergy? I don’t know. Was it a new presentation for asthma? I don’t know. Did he somehow get something else in his lungs that was causing this? I don’t know. All I knew was that I was worried, that this event was not resolving on it’s own and could turn deadly. We were an hour away from the nearest hospital, and at anytime my son’s little body could be just so overwhelmed that this fun family trip could end up as a nightmare. Not really an awesome way to begin the year 2021.
Why Lord? Why?
I know we live in a fallen world. That our lives are subject to the effects of living in a sinful world. At anytime, anyone’s life could be snuffed out in a moment. Death could not only come knocking but breakdown the door and storm in like a Tsunami wave crashing over you with no escape. Yet through it all God is, and has forever been, faithful. He loves my son more than I do. I know that my son could be healed in an instant. I’ve been praying off and on that the Lord would heal him. I know that He is able to heal my son and at times wrestle with why He has not chosen to do so yet. Whether God heals my son of his allergies or not, God is still good. I know that sickness is not from the Lord; it is a result of sin. We live in a sinful world, fallen from its perfect original design. Yet in all of our imperfections God is able to redeem each of our circumstances and situations. Romans 8:28 tells us that God works all things for the good of those who love Him.
God, in His mercy, has spared my son once again. He has given me more time with this precious little one who has been placed in my life. Though, to be honest, I don’t always view him as a blessing. Yet a blessing he is…. even when he’s pushing all my buttons. Though his peanut allergy number was in the 90’s (as of December 2019) and he has ingested peanuts on accident a few times since then my son is still here, even though the allergist has told us any amount of peanut could end in death. And my son is still here, 13 days later after being sent to the ER for difficulty breathing, completely back to his normal self.
In a week and a half we have an allergist appointment. Hopefully, we can get to the bottom of what was causing this episode of difficulty breathing relatively quickly. He will most likely go through some tests to check for asthma, though at this point no one thinks that this is apart of the issue, however, it is a possibility. He has only ever been tested for food allergies, so environmental allergy testing: here we come.
Since this event, the song Goodness of God by Bethel Music has been running through my head. Click the link for the music video. I’ll share most of the words here:
Verse 1: I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
Verse 2: I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In the darkest night
You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a Father
I’ve known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God (yeah)
Chorus: And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
When I heard this song a few days after the ER I burst into tears. The Lord’s goodness really has been apparent in my life. I know that He cares for my family just as much as any other, but yet His kindness towards us is still so touching to my heart. In little ways the Lord has been reaching out to remind me that He is still here, even in the midst of everything. Even in those scary life and death allergy situations He is with me; even if I don’t recognize it in the moment.
The Ruby Blossom 