You would think that after a while breast-feeding would get easier. In some ways that’s true while in others, it’s not. This is now my third time breast-feeding a child and each time has had its own troubles. I completely understand any mom who gives up breast-feeding and starts formula feeding. Breast-feeding is hard work at the beginning. You would think some thing that is “natural” would be so much easier and come more naturally than it does. Nature may give us the basic tools to do it but there is still a learning curve. No matter how many times you breastfeed as the mother, each infant has to “learn” & perfect their breastfeeding technique.
Surprisingly, my first child was the easiest to breast-feed. Though they were all slow to gain weight in the first two weeks of life, the eldest was a nursing monster. He devoured breastmilk like a ravenous lion devours a dead carcass. Don’t get me wrong, he fell asleep while feeding countless times and occasionally he would vomit everything he ate but he ate well and very often. He nursed so often that I felt like I was a milking cow. I found it so difficult just to sit there for hours throughout the day just nursing. The hardest part with him was the mental aspect of breast-feeding….
Now that I think about it, the mental aspect of breast-feeding is the hardest part all around. Unlike bottlefeeding, with breast-feeding you have no idea how much your child is actually eating. And if your baby is struggling to gain weight in those early weeks this can cause an enormous mental toll on a mom of a newborn.
With my second child, he had a severe tongue tie, which was not caught prior to leaving the hospital. He seemed to eat well before to being discharged but after we got home that night, he was screaming at the top of his lungs because he was hungry. It was then that I noticed his poor little tongue tethered by its tip to his bottom gum. He had to get his tongue “clipped” so that he could experience full range of motion in his mouth to eat and to allow him to be able to speak better (the jury is still out on that last one). He must have ate enough to gain weight but around 9 months old we both got sick and my milk supply dried up so we started formula feeding until I could switch him over to whole milk at 12 months.
Now baby number three is a whole other ball game. She started off large, almost 11 pounds )the others were 9.5 and 8.5 lbs) and a super slow eater which results in her falling asleep before getting a full feeding. At 2 weeks she hadn’t gained any weight & was continuing to loose weight. So we started breast feeding, pumping after each feeding, and then supplementing with formula. Finally she began to gain weight and by 3 weeks old she had gained almost all her weight back that she had lost since birth!
Now this last week I’ve just been pumping and bottle feeding expressed milk. It is soooo much work. It’s exhausting with a 5yr old & 2yr old. With the oldest, I took breastfeeding month by month, motivating myself with my progress of how far I had come. Actually, to my surprise, I made it to 14 months of breast-feeding with him. I feel that with this one I will have to motivate myself in the same manner. However, pumping every time is really getting to me. Sigh, a few days ago I was at the point where I just wanted to quit. Formula feeding was looking so much easier at that moment and she seems to tolerate it but it’s so expensive in comparison to breastfeeding and doesn’t have even close to all the benefits that breastfeeding has.
That evening I decided to try to stop supplementing with formula and to give myself a break from pumping. The following evening I started to pump again, doubtful if she was actually eating enough since she seemed hungry all that day and it felt like she fed constantly and my breast never felt full. However, when pumping I got out 3oz which should be enough for what she needs at this point. In a few days we go in for her 1 month appointment/ weight check and I’ll get to see our progress then. I’m praying that this frequent pumping and supplementing will soon pass. If not, I really don’t know how much longer I’ll be breastfeeding. With two other children at home under 6 years of age, my plate is full and my husband is also feeling overwhelmed at times.
I realize this is just a short season, but that still doesn’t mean it’s easy. The things that a worth it normally don’t came easily anyway.
Thankfully, he helps so much around the house and with the kids when he’s home from work. On the weekends, he gets less sleep than me sometimes. I’m truly blessed to have a husband as supportive as he is. This last month, while he’s not at work he’s done basically all the housework, cooking & child care of the kids so that I can focus on sleeping when I can, pumping, & breastfeeding. I don’t know how single mom’s do it. Having a husband has made being a mom so much more enjoyable and less stressful for me. Without his 24/7 support my stress level would be through the roof & my mental health would be on the rocks. Plus the occasional help I get from my mom during the week when I really need it and the evening meals that we have been receiving from different members of our church the last 3 weeks has been tremendously helpful. Thanks be to God.
I realize this is a very short season but it doesn’t make it easy. The things that are worth accomplishing rarely are easy. If they were easy we wouldn’t appreciate it them as much.
Update:
Yesterday my daughter got weighed at a one month weight check visit. She has officially passed her birth weight of 10 lbs 14oz and now weighs 11 lbs 5.8oz! Woo Hoo! We did it! — however, now I have two clogged milk ducts on the right side that I’m trying to resolve!
Mastitis is the last thing I need right now.
The Ruby Blossom 